Feelings on Completing a Rough Draft

Since this is the first revision of a rough draft I've had to complete in a college English course, understandably I ran into a few difficulties. When writing my analysis for the first time, I believe I was somewhat uncertain of what was expected of me. My first draft was short and very in depth.
When I received Mrs. Barker’s analysis of my text, I got a much better understanding of what she expected. Her side notes and suggestions helped me to reconstruct my paragraphs successfully to compose a much better summary. Against what I originally thought, the verbs located in “They Say, I Say” really did assist me in the revision process. Not only did they make my essay stronger, they added emphasis on the different points Caroline Kennedy was trying to get across to the readers.
Another difficulty I found while doing the summary was picking out what specific information I deemed important for readers of my writing to be familiar with. If I didn’t provide the appropriate messages from the original essay, viewers wouldn’t receive a fair understanding of what “A President like My Father” is all about. In order to solve this, I carefully reread the passage a couple of times highlighting key points as I read. Next, I reread the highlighted points, bolding what I thought was most important. Finally I took the bold information and incorporated it in my final draft.
Before printing my new draft, I proof read the information and felt much better about my new summary.

Haiti

No matter what channel you’re on or which radio station you’re listening to, the topic of Haiti is bound to appear. Countless numbers of Haitians have been lost due to the tragedy of an earthquake, and are in major need of all the help they can get.
Homes, schools, hospitals, towns, and families have been shattered. As you’ve most probably already heard, burials are by the hundreds. Government dump trucks have been dumping the bodies without the ability for proper burial or identification.
In the midst of all this mayhem, I feel the Haitians are showing inspiring amounts of strength. Even though the majority of them have lost nearly everything, they are reaching out to help one another everyday. As an American, thousands of miles away, I’ll admit I automatically feel sorry and put the label “poor” on Haiti whenever I participate in a conversation over the tragedy. However, I feel they would rather us not view them as poor at a time like this, but rather admire their patience and faith in overcoming this disaster.
I think all that we are trying to do for the Haitians right now is wonderful and hope the support our troops are presenting gets the job done. Medical assistance will be needed over there for quite awhile. Food, clothing, and water will also be of great need. I feel everyone who can offer any help, big or small, should do so. Millions of fund have already been raised, but millions more will be needed to restore the country.

"Fifteen" Songwriter: Taylor Swift

In the latest Taylor Swift album, “Fearless”, there is a song titled ‘Fifteen’. This piece explores and relates Taylor’s feelings to many young teenage girls throughout the world who are entering their first year of high school. As they take this big step in their life all that seems to matter, or be of most importance is boys. Since she is a young girl herself, Ms. Swift appears to be an appropriate role model to these teenagers. After all, she has most likely experienced these same feelings within the recent past.
Included in the song lyrics, Taylor says ‘Cause when you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love you, you’re going to believe them.’ Through this, she introduces the vulnerability of these young teenage girls. Later in the song she talks about going on the very first date, and the young boy has a car which causes the girl to feel all grown up and in love. At the end of the evening, the girls’ head is spinning around, and Taylor makes is sound as if her life is complete. However, she goes on to imply that even though the fifteen year old is so happy now, she will do greater things in her life than date the ‘boy on the football team.’
The character in the songs friend, Abigail, fell in love with a boy who ended up breaking up with her at the same time the original character was falling in love with someone else. In conclusion, the young girl realizes that she should have been more careful and ‘looked before she fell.’ One might suggest that Taylor’s hidden punch line would be to take everything slowly in high school, so you won’t have to worry about regrets later. At fifteen you’re young, vulnerable, and bound to make a mistake if you act without thinking through a situation.

The Last Supper

As a high school art history student, I had the opportunity to undergo much study and interpretation of the 15th century mural painting “The Last Supper” created by Leonardo da Vinci. This well-known painter created this work for his patron Duke, and inside of it depicted the scene where Jesus told his twelve apostles that one of them would betray him.
Each apostle has a different reaction, and da Vinci portrays the range of shock and anger in each individual. Although previous paintings done by various artist show depictions of this, Leonardo was the first to have all apostles seated on one side of the table so viewers can easily see each reaction. Depending on how familiar you are with the bible, reflects how your interpretation of each reaction will be. As most would previously know, Judas betrays Jesus. Without previous knowledge, one could most probably guess the betrayer to be Judas. He is the only member to have his elbow on the table and looks very withdrawn from the rest of the apostles. He is holding a money bag, which could signify his importance as treasurer or a form of payment for betraying Jesus.
Currently this painting is displayed in Milan, Italy and has undergone many restorations. In 1999 it was put back onto display; however visitations had to be previously booked and could only last up to fifteen minutes each.
This is my favorite painting, and is displayed in the kitchen at my home. My entire family including aunts, cousins, and grandmother have this painting on display in their home, and I think that if you take some time, this painting will inspire you too!